Category: Ramblings

[This article includes spoilers for movies and TV programs you may have already seen.]

I’m not a huge Marvel fan, but I think I’ve seen all the movies except Ant-Man.  Before going to Avengers: Infinity War, I saw a headline for an article speculating on what major character would die in the film.  I didn’t read the article, but when Loki died at the beginning of the film, I thought, “Oh, so it was him.  Again.”

Mid-way into the film, I changed my mind.  “Oh, so it was her!”  But then, at the very end of the film, I thought, “Are they crazy?”  You’ve seen the film, so you know what I mean.

Flash back to 1982, when I was 15 years old.  Back in these days, science fiction and fantasy didn’t fare so well.  I grew up on Star Trek reruns and there wasn’t much else in the way of science fiction on TV.  Enter Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan.  Rumor had it that Spock would die in the film.

We were not happy.

Our nickname for the first film was, Star Trek: the Motionless Picture, because parts of it were so incredibly boring.  I’m not sure what my expectations were for the second film, but I remember the thrill that came with the opening credit music and that moving starfield in the background.  The movie was phenomenal.

And, yes, Spock died.

But it was one of the best deaths I’ve seen in a science fiction movie.  The entire movie was geared for it.  Spock’s death was foreshadowed from the beginning and reinforced with a theme of beating the no-win scenario.

Then rumor claimed Spock would be brought back to life in the third film.

I’ve alway thought this was a mistake.  Even though I didn’t want Spock to die in the first place, his glorious death was undone by a so-so sequel.  Sure, it was fun have Spock around in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home and Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, but sometimes I wonder how much better Star Trek II would have been if they’d let his death stand.

So what happens if some insane movie makers decide to kill off half the characters in a huge superhero movie mashup (including characters who have new films slated for release in the next year or so)?  After the initial shock wore off, I thought to myself, “Alternate timeline.”  Doctor Strange saw only one timeline where they won.  Well, this wasn’t it.

How many times have we seen seen the Master die in Doctor Who?  Or Davros?  Sometimes these “dead” characters are brought back to life with no explanation at all.  Even the other characters in the series are unsurprised by their return.

And if Marvel doesn’t bring half their characters back to life in the next Avengers movie, all they have to do is reboot.  Spiderman was rebooted twice in a nine year period.  They didn’t even let the second Spiderman trilogy finish before they rebooted for the third.

Death is a temporary state in fiction.

In last week’s blog I provided some possible plotlines for sequels to A Quiet Place.  You’re probably wondering how soon these exciting story ideas will be brought to the big screen.  Surely a blog post by a wildly successful author like me would eventually attract the attention of the film’s director, John Krasinski.

So here’s how things went.

Fantasy Version

While sitting at my desk at work, my cell phone rang with an out-of-state number and no name.  Typically I assume these are telemarketers and ignore the calls. If it’s important, they’ll leave a voice mail message, right?   But this time, feeling guilty for all the other long-distance calls I’ve neglected, I grab my phone and swipe to answer.

“Information Systems Help Desk.”  I’m at work, so my standard greeting slips out even though it’s a call on my personal number.

“Uh,” the man on the other end says hesitantly.  “Is this Grant Smith?”

I realize my mistake, but it’s starting to sound like a telemarketer already, so I keep going at it.  “Yes, do you need help resetting your password?” Although we’re past the deadline for filing your tax return, that doesn’t stop the procrastinators from making their yearly password reset call.  W2s are only available online.

“Ah, no.  I was actually calling about your blog post.”

Now’s it my turn to sound confused.

“Uh, which blog post?”  I write some technical how-to documents at work, but we refer to those as “Help Documents.”  They can’t be considered blog posts because they aren’t posted on a weekly schedule and don’t allow comments.

“You know, the one on A Quiet Place.”  He laughs.  “I really liked your sequel ideas.  Where do you come up with those?”

I glance around the cubicle farm where I sit, wondering if any coworker could be playing a practical joke on me.  Someone actually read my blog? What are the chances of that? And they actually called me?  Although my phone number is listed in the DNS registry somewhere . . .

Oh, yes.  He asked a question.  Well, I actually was sitting at my keyboard when I typed up those story ideas, sir.  That’s probably not what he wants to hear, though.

“Well, actually, sir, if you tune into my blog next week I’ll be discussing exactly that.”

Already details start to pour in. I was river rafting in India, typing away at my laptop keyboard, when our guide shouted in a panic.  We were headed straight for a waterfall!

The caller is talking, though.  Something about meeting for lunch.

“Wait.  Lunch? Where?”

“L. A?”

L. A.

La.

La Frontera?  It’s on my bus route home.

“Excuse me.”  I press the phone against my ear, determined to pay strict attention from here out.  “What did you say your name was?”

“John.  John Krasinski.”

I’m certain I don’t know anyone with the last name Krasinski.  

“You know,” he goes on.  “I played Lee Abbott in the film, A Quiet Place.  I’m also the director.”

The film.  I know the characters had actual names because I looked up the daughter’s, although I can’t remember even that now.

“Wait.  You’re the John Krasinski?”

He laughs.  “That’s me. So, I can fly you in, but it has to be sometime in the next two days.  I wasn’t planning on doing any sequels, but, hey, I really liked your ideas. We’re even looking at the cruise ship spin-off.”

Now I’m out of my chair, walking around the department to see who’s hunched over their phone trying not to be overheard while making a prank call.

“Just a moment,” the caller says.  After a brief pause he comes back. “I gotta hand the phone over to J. J. Abrams.  He’s having a terrible time with Episode IX and maybe you can help straighten things out . . .”

Realty

The following graph shows all of the visits to my grantedthat.com website for the last week or so.

As you can see, my all-time total visits is only eight, and I’m pretty sure those were all me.  And that’s for the entire site, not just last week’s blog. Note that 861 malicious attacks on the site were blocked.  Not even the hackers stopped to read my post.

So, sorry.  No sequels to A Quiet Place.  Not based off my ideas, anyway.

The statistics have spoken.  No one reads my blog. Not even you.

I’ve never really liked my first name.

Grant.

verb (used with object)
to bestow or confer, especially by a formal act:
to grant a charter.

noun
something granted, as a privilege or right, a sum of money, or a tract of land:
Several major foundations made large grants to fund the research project.

A long time ago I complained to my mother about my name.  When she asked what I’d rather be called, I suggested Kirk and Scotty.  (I watched a lot of Star Trek reruns in those days.)  I definitely would not want either of those names now.  Maybe I’d go with William, which is my middle name.  At least it’s not in the dictionary.

“Grant”, as a name, supposedly means “great” and began as a nickname for “a large or tall person.”  That still doesn’t convince me to like it.

A year or so ago I registered a domain name to possibly use in promoting my writing.  I’m terrible at self-promotion.  I prefer to be as invisible as possible.  And so I never really built any content for my website.

The domain name was grantwsmith.com. That’s remarkably fitting, considering my name is Grant William Smith.  The e-mail address just seemed all wrong: grant@grantwsmith.com.  That’s redundant.  I considered me@grantwsmith.com, but that’s not much better.  The domain name is just too “me” – literally.  It’s my first name, middle initial, and last name.

So I started searching for domain names, again.

The idea in finding a personal domain name is to look for something short and unique.  A common phrase or quote is preferred.  And it has to be somehow related to you or your interests.

The first phrase that came to mind was, “for granted.”  Yeah, it’s taken.  I could have gone with for-granted.com or forgranted.io, but that doesn’t change the fact that there are a dozen similarly named websites out there.

I needed a more obscure phrase.

grantnoquarter.com – Available, but too long.  Also it sounds like I’m a commanding sort of person, which I’m definitely not.

I considered grantthis.com.  Not only is it a phrase, but “this” is “Smith” backwards, without the “M”.  However, it looks too much like “grant his”.

“faster than Grant through Richmond” is an expression – although I’ve never heard it before.  fasterthangrantthroughrichmond.com is available, and probably will be for a very long time.

tnarg.com – Taken!  Can you believe it?  Someone is more desperate than me.

Also on the chopping block: grantthat.com, grantsquarter.com, takegrant.com, granttaken.com, etc, etc.

Then I happened to think of a partial phrase: “granted that.”

grantedthat.com

It’s perfect.  It’s not the main subject, and I always prefer not to be.  Those two words serve on the sidelines, deflecting attention to something more important.  That’s totally me.